15 Dry Phrase Followup

On January 30, I asked my Facebook friends for phrases that need a little help. Here is my request:

This may sound odd, but I'm collecting dry phrases. Strings of words that need life injected into them.

Background: I was talking with a friend recently about coffee--something we both enjoy. Rather than saying, "Hold a cup of coffee" we described it as "wrapping our hands around a hot vessel we hold closely". They are the same thing, but isn't the latter a nicer way to start the day?

So there it is. My goal is to collect 15 dry phrases in the next 15 hours. Please share something you hear or use often that deserves improvement. This will be a fun exercise for me. I'll post all 15 when we're done.

Once again, I find need for greater clarity in my writing. I lost people at "..something you hear or use often that deserves improvement."

I'd hoped to be able to improve marketing for people who need taglines and content to create word pictures or spur emotions. Instead, I’ve assembled a group of very short phrases or even single words that cause people to be peevish. Oh, and I am one of those people.

On the plus side, I received at least 25 word/phrase suggestions, exceeding expectations. This exercise/assignment has rested for nearly a month, so let's see it through, shall we?

Here are our suggested phrases.

Fixing supper.

I'll lead with this one from a writer friend. Connie not only suggested it, she delivered it complete with an alternative. “I am preparing an evening culinary experience.” Why mess with success?

Cool.

This was proposed by my friend Aaiza as a response to "everything someone is saying to you at work when they are just being annoying and you want them to go away."

I do not have an improvement. But be advised. If your conversation with somebody goes:

YOU: Blah, blah, blah.

THEM: Cool.

YOU: Blah blah.

THEM: Cool.

YOU: Blah blah blahbity blah. Right?

THEM: Cool.

There is a very real chance it's not cool. You're probably not cool. And we can confidently doubt you're helping them cross items off their to-do list.

In this scenario, "Cool" means, "I hear you. I'm not wasting brain cells on formulating a considered response to your inane banter. In fact, I'm continuing to solve my own problems, futilely attempting multitasking while you stand in or near my personal space and keep me from my appointed duties. Please leave. My eyes are glazing. Please leave now. Cool?"

Getting gas.

Karen, this could mean fueling, refueling, or temporarily containing organic, semi-toxic emissions. It wasn't clear.

It might be clear soon. But will it be silent? Will it be deadly?

Get dressed. Go to work. Make dinner.

Three mundane activities nearly all of us do or assist with. We:

• Clothe ourselves, reinforcing our workplace personas.
• Cross our thresholds and travel, mentally preparing ourselves to achieve and overcome, as required.
• Return to our homes and create nourishing meals to carry us through all our activities. Or we order pizza. And maybe a 2-liter bottle of a carbonated beverage, artificially colored and brimming with high fructose corn syrup. We have options.

Go brush your teeth!

This is convenient oral shorthand. When we hear it, we know what we're being instructed to do.

It's just much faster than saying, "Go apply flavored dentrifice to a long-handled stubby brush and scrub your pearly implements of mastication until they gleam. At least two minutes. And don't swallow!"

Go figure.

It’s difficult to read this one without hearing the sarcasm oozing from each word and puddling on the floor.

"Go figure" acknowledges an unsurprising outcome. It implies, "What did you think would happen?" and may include terms of endearment like "moron," "idiot," or "you goof."

Hang up your coat/clothes.

I wondered why anyone would have to say such a thing. Then, from my comfy recliner, I noticed one jacket hanging from a door knob, and two sweaters doing dual service as throw rugs beside the chair. I remembered other items of clothing draped over or stacked on chairs in our bedroom.

We are very neat here. But only in our dreams.

So, clear the room. Suspend your clothing.

Hold your horses.

Try "Let's pause" instead. It implies at least a pair of people working together.

It doesn't say, "Stop!" That's the last thing most people who have gathered momentum want to hear.

But, for a moment "let's pause" and consider where we are going, where we want to go, and the best way to get there. Then we can snap the reins and get this wagon moving again.

How are you?/How was work?/Fine

This is less a phrase than a polite question. Either one is often used as a conversation starter.

Unfortunately, neither should be construed to be an authentic invitation to further conversation unless there is continual eye contact. "How are you?" has become a vocal nod. It's done like this: Vocally nod. Break eye contact. Keep moving.

We say it, but we don't mean it. For many years I have wanted to write a song and call it The Hi, How'ya Doin', Walk On By Blues.

Either question can be inauthentic, but so is our standard response. "I'm fine" or "It was fine". Indeed? Or are we assuming it's a pro forma question and the asker doesn't really care?

The person who proposed "Fine" or "I'm fine" as a phrase worthy of reconstruction offers what has become his patent response to "How are you?" Eric says, "If I were any better, I'd be twins." If you know you're not destined for a conversation, at least you can leave the asker with something more than they expect.

If you want to know--really want to know--maintain eye contact and be ready to hear. Stop a minute. Listen. At least one of you will benefit from the contact. It may be you.

If you don't really want to know how somebody is, try "Good morning" or "Good afternoon" instead. If a conversation begins, for goodness' sake, don't respond with, "Cool."

I have to grade papers.

Diane, I'd go with "Not now. I'm dispensing academic judgment. Let the wailing begin."

It is what it is.

This is either abject fatalism or Zen-like acceptance. It may also mean, "I prefer to focus on things within my control."

Many people dislike this saying. I disagree. To me it says, "I accept this as a given, but I refuse to give it more consideration than it deserves. It is. It's fact. But it's nothing more than it is, so let's deal with it or work around it and get on with other things."

It’s all good.

We can work with this.

I have a friend who used this as his personal catch phrase. He took a lot of things in stride and, for him, this phrase meant either, "I can work with this," or "I forgive you," or "I'm already working on a different solution." Usually, the feeling I got was something along the lines of "God uses all things for good." Even the ones we haven't planned.

I have another friend who really dislikes this phrase. She is a beautiful, gifted person with a fantastic sense of humor who has endured enough crappy life experiences to believe that, no, it's not all good. Maybe it can be turned to good, but some of "it" is ugly, demeaning, precarious, uncomfortable, and takes its mental, emotional, and physical toll. Some of "it" feels like an endless slide downhill with no solid handholds.

I love both of them. Mr. Catch Phrase has already been called up to the major leagues, but his optimistic, can-do legacy continues in his family who are still here. Ms. Beautiful Gifted is still slugging it out with life. Meanwhile, she continues to feed into other people through the arts, through counseling, and through humor.

Perhaps not all of it is good, but in some measure I've learned through both people that some of it is life-affirming and excellent.

Let the dog out. Let the dog in. Pet the dog. Good girl.

These canine-centric phrases come from Rosie, who may be Man's Best Friend's best friend. These work. Why change them?

Upon reading the first two, I'd give serious consideration to installing a doggie door. Really. Who's getting trained here?

Pet the dog really makes us feel as good as the dog, so don't think that the object of petting gets all the benefit.

Let’s dip up (food).

I have absolutely no idea. Pam, this is my first exposure to this colloquialism.

The Urban Dictionary has "let's dip" as an alternate phrasing for "Let's go" or "Let's leave," but not in reference to food. Conceivably, at Taco Bell you could say, "Let's dip up, then let's dip." If I'm with you, I'll be lost. Twice.

Let's go. Turn left. Wash the dishes. Gas the car. Go out and play. Paint the house. Knit a sweater. Mow the yard.

A package deal. Wow.

This is a group of phrases that is appropriately succinct. The meaning is clear.

Making the phrase more descriptive could provide useful information. Let's go to the park. Turn left at the second traffic signal. Wash the good china dishes by hand. Take the Buick sedan and fill the gas tank. Play in the back yard. Paint the house light blue. Knit a cable stitch sweater. Mow the yard with the riding mower and trim around the planting beds, patio, and sidewalk.

No problem.

This phrase is entrenched. Toni helpfully raised it and I am particularly annoyed by it. Let’s see if I can rant succinctly.

If you’re in a service position and I say thank you, “no problem” to me is an inappropriate response. You are paid to provide the service. You are correct that it is “no problem.” It is your role. It is your responsibility. It is probably a condition of your continued employment. I rarely imply that it is a problem. Instead, I state my gratitude for your performing with thoughtfulness,  excellence, or both. Somehow, one-third of the Holy Trinity of politeness has broken down. Let’s reinstate Please, Thank You, and You’re Welcome. That should be no problem.

No worries.

If No Problem has a sibling or close cousin, this is probably it. It's a shame, too. I use this phrase. My brother-in-law is Australian and I enjoy hearing him use it, so I've borrowed it and put it into greater circulation. I realize I should have more forbearance. Instead, I hereby promise to not call you "Mate" when I use it.

I think "No worries" has a greater sense of "I'm not troubled by this; you shouldn't be either." It's sometimes used when a person has done a favor for somebody and that beneficiary feels they must repay the favor.

Pretty sunset.

My friend Polly made this suggestion. If you want to see sunshine, get her to smile for you.

"Pretty sunset" is perfectly adequate when you're with somebody and you want them to notice a sunset you find particularly attractive. Imagine you're talking with someone who is not with you. Let's say they are in a different time zone or they are in a building with no windows. Now it's time to be more descriptive.

What is it that makes the sunset pretty to you?

• Is it the intensity of the light as that brilliant orb slowly slides behind the horizon?
• Is it the nearly indescribable palette of colors presented? Washes of pink, orange, and indigo--combinations you'd never consider if you were the painter, but now that you see how incredibly beautiful they are together, you're tempted to try.
• Is it the way trees and buildings become silhouettes, shadows cast by that marvelous light?

When you want to bring somebody into your moment of awe, you'll need to use your best descriptive language.

Shut the door.

This could mean, "You had to open it to walk through it, now put the door back the way you found it."

More likely, this is a case of word substitution. Often seen as "Shut the front door," a polite reframing of "Shut the f__k up". It's a nice trick if you can get away with it. As long as your audience knows the translation, shut the front door can have the same gut-punch effect of its salty alter ego.

As for meaning, it might mean stop talking. More often, it means No way! or You can't be serious!

Six one way, half a dozen the other.

A phrase of equivalence. Toe-may'-toe/Toe-mah'-toe. When faced with a choice that, all things considered, has similar or equivalent pros and cons, you might say, "It's a wash," "The differences don't matter," or "Heads or Tails?"

Sounds good.

Despite sounding affirming, this phrase found its way onto Shamaa's peeve list.

Knowing Shamaa, she either truly wants an alternative or somebody in her sphere of influence says this and she's insightfully interpreting it as "Right. What you said. I'm not going to apply myself fully to this situation." If that's the case, "I'll take time to give this the consideration it warrants" would be a much better rephrasing. And also a much better approach.

Sure.

Alison, hopefully you can infer this to mean, "You can be certain of it." I'll not be surprised if it is a monosyllabic, slightly confusing replacement for "You're welcome." If so, it carries even less meaning than "Not a problem."

Time for dinner.

Ms. Sabadash, you had me at "dinner." Yum. To rephrase, "We're doing a disappearing act with food. I'll need your assistance." Leave out the part about Brussels Sprouts unless your crew likes 'em.

WTF

Sue says, "WTF has an immediate answer that comes to mind. But what else could those three letters mean? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is one. Others?"

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is the phoneticized version of the acronym WTF rather than an alternate meaning. As for other expansions of WTF, certainly there is the tamed version, "What the Frick?" Wiktionary also offers us World Taekwondo Federation. Wu Tang Fan would be another logical expansion, but I just made it up. Let's explore the F of WTF further.

How to Give a F

Speaking of "frick", the f in the F word is a fricative, a sound produced by high pressure air flow between a narrow space in the mouth. In this case, it's between the lower teeth and the upper lip. The vocal cords are not involved.

Short-u is pronounced in the center (not front, not back) middle (not high, not low) part of the mouth, and the tongue needs to be relaxed. Phonetics instructors describe the short-u sound as one of the most relaxed sounds we make in the English language.

To make the k sound, we lift the back of the tongue, then cut the air flow. Again, as with the fricative, our vocal cords are not involved.

The F word is special to me.

As we've learned, the F word is economical. Only the short-u sound involves the vocal cords. The fricative at the front of the word feels good, like the release of air from a balloon. We can make the short-u sound brief or long without significantly distorting the word. And the k sound at the end brings the whole experience to a crisp, defined closure. Shut the door!

The F word works well with dynamics.

• Whisper it to yourself. Go ahead. Just like you want to when your computer fouls up. It's almost an invocation. A cry for justice. Why aren't things working?
• Say it. Make it short or draw it out. It's all good. Six of one, half dozen of the other. It's a built-in tension release you can always have nearby.

Do this next step only if you're in a safe, private place.

• Shout it! Release that air and clamp the whole thing down with a hard k sound. Feel better? Go figure. Excellent.

Using this simple tool, you've just expressed a range of emotions. It's less expensive than a spa visit. It wards off strangers. It even puts co-workers on notice. Invaluable. Don't thank me. It's no problem.