I have a friend who says, “People have no idea who we really are.” Peek behind the curtain at an athlete and you’ll find this to be undeniably true. On game day, we see a bit of pageantry. Players are wearing fresh uniforms, the crowd is cheering, we stand for the National Anthem. We get stirred up.
Beneath all that is the less visible. We see, but don’t recognize, the culmination of every investment made to date—by people we know and many we’ll never meet—to support a person’s athletic endeavors. We see the effect of community. We see the cultivation of life skills. We see personal growth.
This is not only about our most excellent athletes. I was on sports teams in school. Witnesses can attest I didn’t bring much to the game. But I took a lot away.
I’m writing this because I recently attended two junior high girls’ basketball games. I remain impressed.
Communication was not flawless. Execution was not always excellent. But relax. It’s early yet. Clearly sports education is being delivered and lessons are being taken to heart. So we’ll focus on girls. And high time, too. They often keep delivering without getting the attention they deserve. Much of what I’ll share also applies elsewhere.
Community
These Are Our Girls
Communities come in all sizes. As interested observers, we may cheer for a local elementary school team, our favorite college team, or any academic level in between.
At championships, our allegiances may broaden and we’ll root for a team from our local region, our state, a favorite conference, or the entire nation.
Here we are focusing on girls’ athletics, so it is important to remember that our communities are looking for more than a Win or Loss statistic. Is our team improving? Are we teaching them? Are we encouraging them?
Without being patronizing, we claim these people. They are a part of us. And every player on the floor or field is a young women developing skills that will increase their likelihood of succeeding in a number of areas for the rest of their lives.
This Is Our Town
If you’ve lived in a small town most of your life, you know who goes with whom. If you’ve never lived in a small town, you probably have no idea what emphasis people place on connections—real or imagined. Nor the effect this attitude has on the fabric of local community.
Sensing Connection
At an athletic event, one can see a name on a roster and perhaps make a connection. But seeing people in the stands is a better means of gauging connections. At my age, I see a young lady on the floor and realize I probably know her grandparents. They may have been classmates, but just as likely are younger than me. So, counting parents as well, there potentially are four to eight people in the stands to whom we can create imaginary lines to a specific player. Multiply that times ten players on the court at one time and we now have a weaving, swirling, web of connections running up and down the court. If we add siblings, cousins, neighbors, and friends, the connections thicken, becoming braided ties to our town and eventually to one another.
The Show and Shaping Up
For small towns, athletics is affordable entertainment. It is the excitement of activity, the sense of belonging to a crowd, the nail biting final minutes of a close game. The pride of having watched our athletes give their best. It’s bragging rights and reputation. And to the athletes, it’s pressure. Because of the obvious and hidden ties to families inherent in a small town, we can’t seem to keep ourselves from sizing up today’s crop of sportspeople against the root stock.
Comparing today’s youth to their predecessors has some implicit unfairness. We may not weigh people’s capabilities on their own merit. We don’t always give today’s players the space to be or to become themselves. Instead, for good or ill, we compare them to siblings or prior generations. And we don’t admit when we look back through the rosy lens of favorable memory.
On the positive side, our athletes often are growing up in a nurturing environment. We want the best for them. The good aspects of peer pressure and belonging to a tightly knit community imbue them with some useful attitudes that they may carry to places far from “home”.
In that respect, small towns and dandelions have lot in common. A little bit of us can show up anyplace.
Life Skills
Involvement in athletics has benefits that are as important off the court as they are in the midst of a game. If you doubt this, consider these three things a Division I baseball coach looks for when scouting talent:
- What are the athlete’s grades like?
- How does the athlete act at practice?
- What are the athlete’s mom and dad like?
Admittedly, a person’s parents are beyond an athlete’s control, but performance and attitude apparently are critical to even being selected to play at a collegiate level.
One of the invisible cords mentioned earlier is mine. I credit my cousin, Madelyn Dalton, for much of the following. Dalton is in eighth grade in one of our local high schools. For the past two years I have seen her play basketball at home and away games. I’ve watched opponents treat her roughly under the goal. She has taken the punishment, controlled her anger, and played through. I’ve watched her rebound, pass, and shoot. I’ve watched her persevere.
I asked Madi to share what she has learned through athletics, point out the two most important life skills she’s developed, and guess what the next big lesson for her will be.
Here are just a few life skills that students develop by participating in athletics during their school years. Some are from Madi, others are personal. All are real.
Character
Madi has played basketball outside school in DistinXion, a local program that pays huge dividends to participants in both basics of the sport and character development. She says, “The main structure of our DistinXion team building was the acronym C.H.A.M.P.I.O.N.S. … Character, Honesty, Attitude, Motivation, Perseverance, I am Responsible, Optimism, Network (of Friends) and Serving others. We would focus and work on each one every practice. I feel my attitude changed a lot with these lessons and I think about them all the time…at school, home, with friends and especially on the court.”
Situational Awareness
An athletic contest is a time-bounded series of rapid changes. In successful teams, players see the changes unfolding and respond appropriately. What an incredibly transferrable skill.
Discipline
Being responsible, punctual, and prepared. This may include time in the weight room, healthy eating, being fully present during practices, and sharpening skills outside of practice.
Teamwork
This is more than setting up plays until somebody can shoot or drive to the basket. According to Madi, it’s about how to get along.
She tells me it’s “understanding our differences and accepting other points of view.“ It’s learning how not to argue and understanding that arguing may not change things, but it disrupts the team.
Teamwork is not only receiving from the people we team with. It’s also us learning what we need to do and giving our best toward that.
I like Madi’s phrasing. “You can’t be good at everything, but you can sure be amazing at something.”
Dealing with Success and Disappointment
Kerri Dalton, Madi’s mother, shared this with me. Sports reflect the rest of lives. You can do your absolute best and still fall short on the scoreboard. You can also win overwhelmingly. They are two tests of our character.
Can you accept the win or loss graciously? Humbly? Can you empathize with the other team in your wins? Can you see the lessons in your losses? Athletics is a proving ground for these abilities.
Sportsmanship
Treating each other well is an incredibly important aspect of athletics. It’s possible to play hard and be civil. Each game is a contest of determination and preparation, not a war. One can even be kind and edifying. If an opponent does something particularly well, tell them. Sportsmanship does not diminish us. It elevates us. Who couldn’t benefit from intentional civility and encouragement?
Specialization and Utility
Do you know your personal strengths? Can you jump into a breach and hold your own until help arrives? Each of us is good at something. All of us can improve.
According to Madi, “[Varsity girls’] Coach Miles really stresses to figure out your job and do it. I hope I can figure out what I am good at and work hard to perfect it.”
How encouraging! Madi already understands that improvement is not a clean, linear path. Instead, she is aware that, “As I grow, some things may get more challenging, but I have to keep working until I feel like I have achieved my goal.”
The Importance of Fundamentals
Every discipline has basic building blocks. For instance, basketball players study dribbling, passing, shooting free throws, and positioning.
Each building block has nuances that contribute to successful play. Practicing and mastering fundamentals moves much of the game to our subconscious mind and frees our thinking to concentrate on the present.
Defining Your Team
This is not my favorite part. It’s about allegiances. It’s about leaving some people and glomming onto others. It’s messy life stuff that isn’t always comfortable. Let me illustrate.
Often, better players are superior because they put in more time. They continue to improve their skills outside the school season. They participate in travel leagues. They go to clinics. They meet other people who share their zeal to be continually better at their sport. Then they go back to school.
During a game, the person they are guarding, blocking, and trying to outmaneuver may have been a valued team mate over the past few months.
But now, it’s important to be in the moment. Today, that person is not on their team. They are an opponent. Off-court relationships do not pertain to the game in play. Ties of affection are necessarily eclipsed by the needs of our current team. The person who plays hardest for their team will produce a better result.
It’s really another life skill, but not one we enjoy. For any variety of reasons, in life we will leave some people behind. If only for the moment.
Sometimes we don’t do it well. Or at all. In those cases, our lack of commitment to our team means the world doesn’t see our best. As we say of relationships in online statuses, “It’s complicated.”
Down to the Buzzer
People involve themselves in athletics for reasons. Some want the prestige that comes with representing one’s school. Some want to belong to something. Others use athletics to express God-given talents of coordination and acumen. And that’s just the players.
Coaches and their staffs reinvest the life skill benefits covered above, raising up new generations of youth to become contributors and leaders.
Only a few players will play a sport professionally, but it happens. Some will only participate in athletics for a moment. Others will continue through high school and possibly into college. That’s not of utmost importance. It’s the other stuff we need to carefully remember. Behind the sweat and grind, on courts and fields and tracks throughout the country, people who care immensely are shaping youth to lead with character.
